Marriage.
Before we dive into what marriage is from the bible, let us refresh our mind , the dictionary explanation of what marriage is all about.
MARRIAGE, is The act of uniting a man and woman for life; a wedlock; the legal union of a man and woman to live together, for a life time.
Marriage is a contract both civil and religious, by which the parties engage to live together in mutual affection and fidelity, till death shall separate them. Marriage was instituted by God himself
Let this sink in your heart. A lasting marriage is not based on love, lasting marriage is based on.
One: knowledge of the partner you get married to.
Two: Understanding one another.
Three: Wisdom for communication.
when to talk, how to talk, and when not to talk.
Finally: love who you have married, not marrying whom you love.
Everything that ever started started in Genesis, it is the beginning of all things.
Genesis chapter 2 verses 18, And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Why marriage fails in this age and time we are in now, is that we put the cart before the horse.
Marriage is not all about love.
Marriage is not all about sex.
marriage is not all about having children.
marriage is not about taking care of my family financially, though is part of it. Marriage is more than that.
Matthew chapter 19 verses 5, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
They two left their father and mother, to be father and mother to one another.
What then is marriage.
Marriage is the journey to fulfill God’s plan for both, for one another, to help one another reach their goals, and destiny, there are to be together, in time of needs, in time of plenty, and in time of thin, the bible calls it help meet.
That journey also include repopulation, as ordain by God.
NOTE:
Love is not the first thing in marriage.
There are things that will come first, on that, will love anchors on to grow, love is a seed.
Is only God that loves unconditionally, human’s love anchors on something to grow and strive,
Love is a seed, it requires the right soil, and condition, to grow well.
Yes, a man must love his wife, but bringing love first is like bringing the cart before the horse.
When that love is in a right soil, it will grow to be a big tree, that is what the bible says, that love covered all things, because the love, has grown to be a mighty tree.
Love is not the first thing that should come to mind, beauty is not the first thing, education is not the first thing,
The bible didn’t say, any man that loveth a wife, the bible said he that findeth.
Marriage is the fulfillment of your God’s called destiny on earth.
Your partner, or who you married to, should help you to achieve your goal in life.
Proverbs, chapter 18 verses 22.
Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
You may ask,
Do I get favour from God once I am married? The answer is, No.
But when the two couples understand the journey ahead, and walk towards the goal, in line with God guidance, God has all obligation to favor them, or bless them.
You need to find that one person that will compliment you in your journey to life, both physical, and spiritual journey of life.
The bible said out of the rib of a man, God formed the woman, so every man has a woman to compliment him, she doesn’t need to be educated to compliment you.
She doesn’t need to come from a particular tribe, to compliment you.
She doesn’t need to be rich, or comes from a rich family to compliment you.
WHAT DO I CONSIDER BEFORE GETTING MARRIED.
First thing first, you pray to God, because he is the one that ordain marriage, and he is the one that favors marriage.
Other things to watch before getting married.
One: Can i fulfill or serve God together with this man or woman? is he or she, someone that will take away my faith from God?, because we all needs a partner to strength our faith in God.
King Solomon married unbelieving woman which causes him to sin.
Two: Can she give me peace, does she have self control in time of little, I mean economically, or difficulties season. will he be pushing blames around ?
Three: After reverencing God, do i come next in his or her life, or do the family comes first ?
Four: Does my presence means something to him or her?, I mean does my presence makes a different or not.
Five: What can i give to my partner, that other person cannot give him or her.
Six: Never in any way or time take him for granted, when talking with him, or him talking to you
Seven: Apart from sex and having children together, what else can i contribute in building the home, i don’t mean financially though is part of it.
You may say, having children and contributing financially is enough.
The answer is a capital NO.
But by going out of the box to contribute, on that lies the bolt and nut that ties and tightens your marriage together.
That is what marriage is all about, we are bond for life, without these you are just managing marriage and are just married for the sake of sex and children, which marriage is more than that.
There are people who got married and don’t have children, but are happy together.
Eight: Before you get married, what is your mind set, do you get married because you are due for marriage, and wanted a man and ready to have children, if yes, your mindset is different.
If you are getting married because your colleague has gotten married and you also wanted to get married, or you just need a man to take care of you and the family, probably your mother, if yes, then your mindset is also different in that marriage.
WHAT ARE THESE OUT OF THE BOX CONTRIBUTION, DO I MAKE TO KEEP MY MARRIAGE.
One: Mental and physical well being of yourself and family
Like sitting close to your husband and taking away the pimples in his face, check him out while sitting close to him.
Keeping the house clean as much as you can.
Two: Whenever he is talking to you, stop whatever you are doing and pay him 100% attention, not pressing or browsing your phone, when the man is talking, or watching TV, when the man is talking.
Three: Let him know that you comes first before his own family, once that is established, whenever he founds you are giving away money to your
family, he won’t take it personal. Else he will feel you are just there to reap him off.
Four: Advice the man what you think that might help him, in his life to be better, at the time you know he is relaxing, show him that you are there with him, both physical, mentally and spiritually.
Five: Don’t manipulate him through sex, don’t ask him for a favour during sex, rather ask him when he is in a right state of mind.
These little things might be nothing. But remember is nut and bolt that holds the engine of an aircraft together.
THE DO LIST, THAT KEEPS YOUR MARRIAGE.
One: Compliments one another, Have something to share together,
Whatever you share together will be the basics of discussion.
It will breach the gap for quarreling or misunderstanding.
Two: Study the history of each partner, I mean his or her up bring, he or she might have a sad experience, and seeing such incident repeats itself in his or adulthood, will result into a stumbling block.
This study will make one understands where the other lacks in his or her up bringing, and help to fill in the gap.
Three: Respect, and allow your man to decide, you just need to guide him.
Four: Sex and Caring for the man, not nagging at him.
Cooking and washing his clothes makes you not just a wife, but a mother and companion.
Five: Praying together.
Seven: Contribute to the well being of the family and plan the family together,
not leaving the financial aspect only to the man.
All these 7 items will bring about love.
Remember that the love of a human being has an anchor to stand on, but the love of GOD is free, even while we are yet sinners, he loved us, and die for us.
